H, we have had elementary talks with you about private parts.

Super simple:

Boys have a penis.
Girls have a vagina.
You don’t let other people touch you there.
Sometimes mom and dad do, but only to help you potty.
If you get sick, the doctor can check you there.
Your backside is called a heinie.
Etc.

In that, you have taken to calling everything in that region your “heinie.”

I tell you that to tell you this.

I was using the bathroom this morning.

While I was there, you came in to chat, just asking me questions, hanging out.

I was sitting on the toilet and you were standing in front of me.

At some point, you glanced down at me and asked:

“Dad, what is that big thing on your heinie.”

Mom and I tried so hard not to laugh.

All I could do was answer:

“That’s my penis.”

I think you answered:

“Right, boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.”

You are perfect.

Don’t ever change.

I love you.

-Dad