No one tells you as a parent that you will have conversations like this.

But here we are.

H and K, y’all were using the word “anus” incorrectly a few days ago.

And a little too freely, in my opinion.

One hit the other and one of you said, “Don’t touch my anus.”

More slaps were exchanged, and the other one screamed, “Get your hand off my anus.”

I made you both stop, calm down, and sit with me on the couch.

Trying to keep a straight face, I told you to stop hitting each other and that, that, is not what “anus” means.

You both looked confused.

I said that the “anus” is not the entire rear end, it’s only the hole.

It’s just the butthole.

In a flash y’alls eyes got big, turned quickly to make eye contact with each other, and burst out in historical laughter.

Sometimes I feel like an awesome dad and sometimes I have no idea what I am even doing.

I love you.

-Dad